Buy a Poodle
If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never say its not quite as good as his mothers ..
.....then buy a Poodle
If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and where ever you want...
......then buy a Poodle
If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies....
......then buy a Poodle
If you want someone who is content to get on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores.....
.....then buy a Poodle
If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually....
.....then buy a Poodle
But, on the other hand, if you wont someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness...
....then buy a Cat !
Why some men have Dogs and not Wives:
1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
2.Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
3.Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
4. A dog's parents never visit.
5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.
7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"
10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.
13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
14. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.
The ten pet peeves dog's have with humans......
1. Blaming your farts on me..... not funny ... not funny at all !!!
2. Yelling at me for barking. I'm a friggin Dog !!!
3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. Stop it !
5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home !
6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog ! Whoooo Hooooo, what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
7. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back !
8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.
9. Dog sweaters. Hello?? Haven't you noticed the fur?
10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous.
now lay off me on some of these things. We both know who's boss here ! You don't see me picking up your poop do you ?
A Pet's Ten Commandments
1. My likfe is likely to last 10-15 years. Any separation frrom you is likely to be painful.
2. Give me time to understand what you want of me.
3. Place your trust in me. It is crucial for my well-being.
4. Don't be angry with me for long and don't lock me up as punishment. You have your work, your friends, your entertainmaent,but I have only you.
5. Talk yo me. even if I don't understand your worde. I do understand your voice when speaking to me.
6. Be aware that however you treat me. I will never forget it.
7. Before you hit me, before you strike me, remember that I could hurt you, and yet, I choose not to bite you.
8. Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself it something might be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right food, I have been in the sun too long, or my heart might be getting old or weak.
9. Please take care of me when I grow old. You too, will grow old.
10. On the ultimate difficult journey,
go with me please. Never say you can't
bear to watch. Don't make me face
this alone. Everything is easier for me
if you are there, because I love you so.
ALWAYS!
(403) 746-3028
